… according to an article that discusses the personality-traits that are common amongst people with my blood-group, that is.
Had me and Fiona in laughing-fits for the rest of the evening.
Then again, thinking about it, my lack of extrinsic elegance doesn’t mean I can’t be a George Clooney on the inside.
Heck, George I am!
Even if only on the inside.
Ok, giggles aside, there is something quite serious about the statement “I am”:
Like e.g. the other day when K. sends me this:
“I’m the type if you tell me something, teach..whatever.. I have to give it time to filter down. You can tell me something one day and it just sits there. Then after a day or so, it seems like I need to at least sleep on it then I can come back with questions etc.”
The “I am” statement here is:
“I have to give it time to filter down”
Now, whether true or not, there’s always an intrinsic (yeah, I couldn’t resist) danger with statements like “I am the type of person who …” (in this case: “has to give it time to filter down”):
if you’re not careful, this type of statement (or should we say “belief”) can easily create and control your reality!
The more often you hear it, the more you find evidence in the world that what you believe is indeed ‘true’.
(as an example, if you’ve ever taken a “personality profile” like the DISC assessment, the first time you take it, you may discover that you’re ‘naturally’ rubbish at finishing things. The next time you take a personality profile, it’s almost like you’re looking for those questions that indicate that you’re great at starting things, and rubbish at finishing things. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy)
See, the more evidence you find, the more you’re reminded that in fact, “you are” just like that. (once again, it’s the good ol’ RAS in action…)
You “are” the type of person who “has to give it time to filter down”.
Now, don’t get me wrong:
I totally believe that we should focus on what we’re good at, where we have natural talent, and then hone that into a skill by repeated practice.
I also believe that I have certain limitations.
But having those limitations doesn’t mean that my life is now defined and ruled by those limitations!
If I were to accept that I “have to give it time to filter down”, I’m putting myself into a position where it’s only natural NOT to make decisions. NOT to take action.
“heck, I’m not going to take action, because I haven’t done enough filtering down yet”.
Now, if you’re in a position where you want to build a home-based business, making decisions and taking action is probably THE #1 activity you need to do all day long.
In this particular example, most likely, K. makes ‘better decisions’ after letting stuff filter down (which incidentally is only natural, your subconscious does tend to make better decisions than the conscious mind).
Does that mean K. shouldn’t make any decisions, not take action just because of the belief “I have to give it time to let it filter down”?
Not at all.
What K. MUST do is either
- get someone else to make the decisions,
- create a setup where “making decisions” isn’t that critical (entirely possible – especially with the Power-Of-1 model),
- develop an alternative decision making process that allows her to assimilate and understand more quickly (*)
- figure out if it really is a natural “I am” situation, or if it’s based on some underlying assumptions or beliefs. Or, of course,
- question that statement “I have to…” – and the implications. Which in this case could be: “do I really need the best decision, or is any decision better than no decision?”
(*) which can be as simple as ‘immersing’ yourself in the field … when you’re new to pretty much anything, and everything is an unknown, you simply cannot predict what the impact of any decision is. ‘Certainty’ and the ability to ‘manage risk’ comes with experience …
Either way, these blind-spots in our reality are one good reason for doing some work with a good coach, because their perspective (and reality) will be very different from yours, and they’ll be able to spot where you’re telling yourself “I am…” in a way that’s most likely hurting your progress.
And of course, they’ll celebrate with you the fact that you’re “intrinsically elegant”;-)
PS: What are your “I am”s that might be holding you back?
PPS: one of the “I am”s that the blood-type diet explains is my (insane) obsession with chillies. But that’s ok, it’s not really hurting progress, only my tongue… Here is my current crop, the first ones should be ready in about a week or so: